Decorum

I'm old.  I've seen it all.  And those truths still allow me to be shocked at much of what I witness daily.

As a culture (great way to start a rant) we lack decorum.  A group of people with every opportunity to get it right, and we fail miserably.  We don't get that just because we can do something doesn't mean that we should.

Can a Hollywood star(?) dress her three-year-old in heels?  Sure.  Should she?  I think not.  She's three.  What's wrong with Mary Janes? 

If I see one more muffin top on otherwise perfectly normal teenage girls - normal meaning you aren't genetically shaped like Barbie - I will  hurl.  Buy a damned pair of pants that fit you.  And please do NOT wear a skin-tight tee with the offending jeans - one view is enough.  Your midriff doesn't warrant a closer look.  You would be just as fashionable in clothes that fit.

Speaking on a personal note - once you hit 50?  Start dressing as you should.  Those oh-so-perfect ripped jeans with the boho top?  My daughter is right: the ensemble just looks kind of desperate.  And the camo pants for someone who has never seen a gun any closer than our SRO's holster?  Not really.

Guys are just as bad.  Please, don't ever, wear a tank top unless you're gay and out and live in New York City.  They do not flatter straight men, regardless of your natural or steroid-enhanced biceps.  We get it - you're a gym rat and you're proud. 

You're also rather silly looking.

And on the subject of Facebook, a topic I waffle on daily, please please PLEASE do not describe every aspect of your significant other's perfection to us.  We don't care - we've heard you before about a different bundle of wonderfulness.

The pictures of you at the beach, one of the 148 that you posted, with your tongue stuck out and throwing the deuces? So trite. So sad. So stupid.


Girls who are 19-21, married or not, who say "I don't feel well today?"  Yeah, in just a few more posts we will discover that Eureka! They are having a baby!

Forgive me if I don't jump for joy at yet another example of lack of decorum. 

Really?  You want me to be excited that you are adding to the already intellectually-depleted stock that I teach every day?  Not to mention the bursting-at-the-seams social programs that I help fund.  I want  you to have a healthy baby, but I don't necessarily want to throw you a shower.  Or attend.  Thank you.

Just say no.  And practice a little decorum.