Soul sistas

Reading another blog (and we MUST change the name, thank you) and the writer, someone twenty plus years younger than I, spoke of her lack of female friends.  And it made me think....

I would not be who I am without my girlfriends.  They have shaped my personality and my garden and have made this journey so much damned fun.  Most of us are middle-aged.   And the arrival at said juncture has surprised us all.  When did we stop being thirty?  And why do the faces that peer at us from our mirrors look so much older than the ones we see in our minds-eye?

My group includes five core members with several hovering on the periphery.  We have seen so much - births, deaths, and tennis championships.  We've spent holidays and Tuesdays in ordinary time together and we still like each other.  We hosted wedding and baby showers for each other, and then each other's children, and somehow remain separate but together - I might go weeks without speaking to one or more of them and when I do we pick up where we left off - with whatever silliness or  seriousness we spoke of last. 

You need girlfriends.  The ability to pick up the phone or meet for lunch to discuss whatever is on your mind is inestimable.  Husbands get tired of hearing about bad haircuts and the merits of one night cream over another.  And don't bother trying to explain the craziness created from one phone call from your mother - you're tuned out.

Girlfriends listen.  And commiserate.  And have opinions.  And aren't afraid to voice them.  Growth in spirit comes from hearing words you need but don't necessarily want.

And girlfriends understand that cheesecake is a perfectly fine dinner when you're at the beach, and knew your thighs before they went south, and will bring you soup when you're sick, and lift you up in their prayers nightly without being asked, and laugh at your bad jokes, and cry when you hurt and rejoice when you're happy.

They are your conscience and your barometer.  They provide ballast.  They see you at your best and your worst and still love you.  In spite of yourself sometimes. 

I can't imagine my life without these people. 

So my advice to young women, struggling with toddlers or teens or men, is to find simpatico souls to join you on your way.  Your life will be richer and brighter if you can share it with these fabulous creatures called girlfriends. 

Just expect them to tell you when you have a hideous haircut.